Monday, June 11, 2012

The Beginning

**The first post is going to be the long**

Well to start I was no small baby.  8lbs 7oz of me was born June 4th.  I was a healthy size born to a woman who was only 5ft tall and maybe 105lbs dripping wet before she got pregnant.  My dad was a very active man.  Tennis, landscaping and who knows what else before I came along.

Needless to say who would have thought I would have struggled with my weight.  I probably became self conscious about my weight at around age 6 or 7.  I don't remember what triggered it.  Could have been a kid making an unkind remark or an adult who wasn't thinking I heard them.  Who knows.  But I knew then that I was on the larger side.

I was fairly active though.  I played soccer till I was about 9.  My sister and I played outside all the time!  We were in the creeks, up tree's, riding our bikes, going on hikes with my mom who taught us at home.  (ah the freedom of homeschooling)  So, normal childhood activities.  I even took Ballet, Jazz and tried Tap dancing...that one fell flat...  I also took piano and voice lessons for most of my childhood.  I loved to read and you could almost find a book on my nightstand or in my hands when outside relaxing in a tree.

But again, I knew I was not like some of the other kids.  My friends really didn't care that I was on the hefty side (or at least so I thought).  I guess I was kind of naive in that aspect.  My parents never made a real big deal about it.  My mom cooked relatively healthy meals for us and made us go out to play.  We had to earn TV or game system time.

It was when I went to private school, in my teens, that I started getting more aware of my weight and that the cruel side of kids and adults really started to show.  Kids would make comments and so would adults.  People don't realize how much words sting.  I remember who and when.  I have also forgiven these people, mainly for my sake.  I had to move past the hurt in order to move on.  I was starting to finally get comfortable with myself.  My body was taking the shape of a woman and not some quirky teenager.  I did get to a comfortable and healthy weight by the time I was about 16.  I felt confident about myself.  I was working, going to school and still very active.  My mom, sister and I would go on long power walks, then my sister and I would do aerobics and I would play volleyball on the church team.  I felt great and kept up with it while I was single

Fast-forward a few years to 2001.  Oh those 20lbs of newlywed bliss weight...Then add the fact that I got pregnant 1 month after we got married!  So I started out at 160lbs when we got married and went up to 240lbs with my first pregnancy.  I quickly lost 20lbs of that at delivery due to a 9lb 8oz baby boy named Jonathan.  Then lost the other 20lbs with weight watchers.  Once I quit WW, I gained about 30lbs back.  Lack of exercise and proper diet definitely contributed to that.  5 yrs later (2007) I got pregnant with our 2nd child, Jordan.  I gained all of 5lbs with him from my starting weight.  (lost 15-20 due to morning sickness then gained that back plus 5 from my starting weight)  He was my 11lb wonder!  So again, I quickly lost about 20lbs after delivery and put it back on again.  Stress eating is what really gets me and during the time after his birth my husband was let go from his job, I was on maternity leave (from the same company that let him go), and trying to figure out what to do next.  I decided to stay at home most of the time and work as a photographer at a local JCPenney as they needed part time help.  In 2009, I found out we were expecting our 3rd child, Josef, due in January of 2010.  2 pregnancies fairly close together.  EEK!!!  I was watching a friends daughter to earn extra income, which wound up not being a good thing and a lot of stress.  Stress + Pregnancy = LOTS of emotional/stress eating!!  This turned into Gestational Diabetes for me and lots of finger pricking, a medication, and 10 day early induction.  Josef was my smallest child at 9lbs 5oz.  (you wouldn't know it to look at him though)  Again, I gained 25lbs but lost all of it due to birthing the 3month old size babies!  ;)  In 2011, we found out we were expecting again.  Due in May of 2012.  This made 3 pregnancies in 5yrs.  We welcomed Cordelia in the middle of May.  She was our 2nd largest at 10lbs 3.5oz.  Again, I have dropped about 22lbs from my highest pregnant (272lbs with Cordy).  I am now down to 250lbs after delivery.  I know I have a LOT of work to do.  I am writing this blog to keep me accountable and also track my progress. 

My ultimate goal is 150lbs by next summer.  That means about 2lbs a week.  It is going to to be hard and you will probably see me vent quite a bit.  But it is going to be so worth it.  I have kept a few pre-pregnancy items that I really want to get back into.  Those are my goal.  But I may even try to go past those.   :)

My husband is VERY supportive and is also on his own weightloss journey.  It is not easy being heavy and trying to play with your children or do even normal activities.  We want to be around for our children.  So as I become like an open book on this journey, feel free to join me.  Through the sweat, tears, shouts of joy, excitement as I reach each goal.  They may be small, but they are my goals.

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