Wednesday, August 28, 2013

1 year ago today...

So, one year ago today is my anniversary...Anniversary of what?  Well I was in the hospital for a week.  Massive gallbladder attack.  I did my best to take care of it naturally but in the end my liver and pancreas were beginning to show signs of stress and I went to the hospital.  My baby was just 3 months old.  She went to the hospital with me.  My sweet husband worked from the hospital and helped me with the baby.  I wasn't supposed to do anything too active. 

While in the hospital I was hooked up to an IV for nourishment and hydration.  I was NOT allowed to eat anything or chew gum even.  Eating anything would get the gallbladder attack going again and then chewing gum could aggravate that as well.  Those days were hard.  Especially since I had told my husband to not leave me for too long when he would go get his food to eat and bring it back to the room.  I literally smelled the bags just to be able to feel somewhat normal.  It wasn't much but it helped. 

Then came the lovely tests and shots.  Due to the fact that the doctors and nurses wanted me pretty sedentary I received blood thinner shots.  My thighs were so bruised.  But it was either there or stomach...I opted for the thighs!  Then they had to keep an IV in me around the clock.  The first two days I got majorly dehydrated.  I wasn't even allowed to drink anything for fear of it spiking my numbers.  But they upped my IV intake and that solved the headache.

I also had to get an MRI to see if the blockage had cleared.  Let me say that for someone who has a minor case of claustrophobia that was interesting.  I remember quoting my favorite Bible verses and movie lines to get me through it.  The whole MRI lasted about an hour.  Not something I want to do again.

Cordelia was 3months old when this happened.  So I was still nursing her.  I remember one day she was crying, a lot!  This was quite out of her character so I assumed that since I had fed, changed, adjusted clothing and all the other things on her that she was still hungry and that I wasn't producing enough to keep her satisfied.  That made me a wreck.  I cried.  I have always been able to nurse my children exclusively for at least 9 -12 months.  I really didn't want to supplement.

The hospital I was at graciously loaned me a pump so I could bring my supply up (though the lactation consultant said it should be ok) and so I could pump to have some while I was in surgery.

Unfortunately, I didn't get to pump.  I was sleeping a lot and nursing and sleeping and nursing.  I sure got the rest that they say to get after the baby was born.  Just 3 months later.

Surgery was scheduled for the morning.  Then the afternoon.  The hospital schedules are ever changing.  I remember seeing a promo for Mandisa on Good Morning America.  She was going to sing her new song (at the time) Good Morning.  I had been hearing that on the local K-Love station and was praying that I would be able to see it.  At the time I was still scheduled for an AM surgery.

Then came the dreaded time.  I have never been a fan of going asleep and not remember what happened during the time I was asleep.  Especially due to anesthesia.  I feared that I would not wake up.  You know, those horrible thoughts you get before surgery.  Yeah, I had them. 

But, my husband, parents, niece and my children were all at the hospital praying for me.  Darren sat with me till they had to take me back. 

The surgeons met me in the hall and then we went into the OR.  Man is that room COLD!!  I scooted over to the other operating table and the anesthetist put the mask over my face and told me to take deep breaths.  That was the last thing I remember. 

Then all of the sudden I was in a room and very warm.  Oh those hospital blankets that are in the warmer waiting to be used.  My body felt weighed down by warmth.  And then I felt a squeezing of the legs.  Apparently they put these lovely boots on you to keep circulation going while in surgery and also for recovery.  (they didn't last much after that though as they refused to stay hooked up)

I got wheeled to my room around 6pm.  Surgery went well and they removed my defective gallbladder.  Moving from the bed was horrible.  Pain like I had never imagined before.  Oh and the pressure of the gas they use to inflate the abdomen, yeah, that is not pleasant either!  So the singer in me started to use my muscles to expel the air/gas in my abdomen out.  I literally heard hissing coming out of my throat.  Kind of like deflating a balloon.  I did this for almost an hour or so and the pressure definitely eased up. 

Then I got to eat! BROTH! Oh heavenly broth!  Jell-O! Oh it was divine!  And if you know me, you know I don't like Jell-O.  But that day, I loved Jell-O.  The next day I got an actual breakfast.  More divinity.  It really makes you appreciate food after you don't have it for nearly a week. 

So now I had 4 incisions on my abdomen area.  I know they say laparoscopic surgery is less invasive, but they don't really tell you that recover is really hard on you.  Especially since I had to take care of a newborn who weighed more than the amount of weight I was allowed to pick up.  Challenges...challenges!

My wonderful husband, Darren, stayed home the entire week after surgery.  Then he was on vacation the week after that.  Something we had planned to do so we could visit family who was coming to visit.  So I had help for 2 weeks.  AWESOMENESS!

After that, it got harder.  My school plan went out the window and we struggled through the year.  It has taken me nearly a year to fully recover.  I am still learning what foods I can and can't tolerate.  It's a major thing. 

I have been working on losing weight and getting healthy.  I want to be here for my kids, husband and family.  They need me and I need them.  I love them so much and it is that drive that keeps me going to push harder and further for them and me.  I have goals I want to achieve and by golly, I will do it!

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