Friday, August 9, 2013

Blogging through the Alphabet - H is for Health

I have always struggled with my weight.  Even as a young child I battled it.  When I was 11 or 12 I was nearing 200lbs.  I was picked on because of my weight.  It wasn't necessarily kids, but even an adult who felt it was necessary to pick on others to make himself feel good.  At least that is how it is perceived now.

So image issues and a constant battle with my weight consumed my high school years.  I walked every day (2-3 miles), I would walk to my jobs in downtown Gatlinburg (unless I was cutting it close on time), there was also the church volleyball team and also the aerobics class at the Community Center.  I kept really active and tried so hard to slim down. 

I managed to maintain a decent weight throughout high school and even in college.  Didn't hurt that I was on my feet for nearly 12 hours every Saturday at the Wedding Chapel I was working for at the time.  Then I would help mow my parents lawn, play some tennis when I could (though not as often as I wanted to) and I kept up the walking, aerobics and volleyball (when I wasn't working).

When I got engaged, I made it a goal to not gain any weight before the wedding.  My mom was doing all the alterations so I didn't want to make more work for her.  We did my last set about 3 months before the wedding.  By the time the wedding came, my dress was fairly loose.  Apparently those stories of wedding stress helping the bride to lose some weight were true.  I think I lost about 10lbs.

Then I gained those 15 newlywed pounds, and then I gained 42 with our first baby.  WHOA!  That was rough.  I was able to get back down to a reasonable weight, but then gained some back and got pregnant with #2.  Gained a mere 5lbs (from my starting weight) with that pregnancy.  I was very sick the first 4 months and lost 15lbs, gained that back to my starting weight and added 5 more. 

About 2 years later, I got pregnant with #3, gained 30lbs and dealt with Gestational Diabetes.  That was the most horrible pregnancy ever once that diagnosis was made.  The finger pricking was the worst.  Then the medication I was on to manage my levels because diet and exercise weren't cutting it.

Almost another 2 years later I got pregnant with #4.  Found a midwife and had one of the best pregnancies to date.  Still, I gained about 30lbs. 

All through the last 3 pregnancies, I managed (somehow) to keep around the same weight after each child was born.  I'd lose a significant amount of weight after the baby and then gain it all back.  Even with nursing, exercising (walking) and working on keeping tabs on what I was eating.  It was frustrating to not get closer to my pre-pregnancy weight.

I will admit that having 3 kids in 5 years was really hard on me and that I neglected to really take care of myself.  My highest non-pregnancy weight has been 255lbs.  Depressing, frustration, mad at myself for letting it get that far is just some of what I could say. 

But if I keep thinking that, I will never get anywhere!

So now, I am trying to think more positive.  I can get healthy, I CAN eat right, I CAN lose weight, I CAN and I WILL!  Why?  I want to be here for my family.  They need me as much as I need them.  God put me here to be a wife, mother, daughter, sister, teacher, friend and more.  It is my job to take care of this body and I have been on a journey.

This journey started back in February when I did a challenge.  Well, I kinda fell back into those bad habits and needed to get back into the swing of things.  So another challenge for me!  Currently, I am working out to Focus T25 and trying to eat as healthy/clean as I can.  It's not easy and trying to get everyone to eat that way is well, challenging.  But the kids love to do my exercise videos with me!  They make it about 5 minutes, but hey, at least they see mommy setting the example.  My oldest will actually complete a video with me.  My husband is going to start joining me in the evenings after we put the kids to bed.  So this is a whole family affair.  Health...You only live once.  So why not live life to it's fullest!  You CAN do it!  You CAN make the changes necessary for a healthy life!  YOU CAN!

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